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When Keepin It Real Goes Wrong: Rock, Paper Scissors Edition

on January 13, 2011

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101 rules of hardcore

I've had this text file on my hard drive since 2005. No idea where I found it, but much of it is still relevant today. 101 Rules of Hardcore 1) Be tough at all times. 2) Never cheer after a show, only clap. 3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way 4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. 5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them. 6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly. 7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. 8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal. 9) (Exception to rule Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts. 10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends. 11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror ...

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My Typical Week

Sunday: Recover hangover. File unemployment thing. Pretend I had a fun weekend. Monday: Pretend I care about all the breaking news. Blog something. Take out the trashcan at night Tuesday: Recover trashcan. Blog...maybe. Check bank account Wednesday: Block people making humpday jokes. Masturbate, a lot. Thursday: Pretend I have plans for the weekend. Masturbate. Friday: Check bank account. Hope someone calls me to hang out. Saturday: Buy lots of beer. Drink alone. Pretend I'm having a good time. Sleep for 14 hours. Rinse, repeat. Rinse only if the water bill isn't past due.

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When Keepin It Real Goes Wrong: Rock, Paper Scissors Edition

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