Friday, October 14, 2011

My Typical Week

  • Sunday: Recover hangover. File unemployment thing. Pretend I had a fun weekend.
  • Monday: Pretend I care about all the breaking news. Blog something. Take out the trashcan at night
  • Tuesday: Recover trashcan. Blog...maybe. Check bank account
  • Wednesday: Block people making humpday jokes. Masturbate, a lot.
  • Thursday: Pretend I have plans for the weekend. Masturbate.
  • Friday: Check bank account. Hope someone calls me to hang out.
  • Saturday: Buy lots of beer. Drink alone. Pretend I'm having a good time. Sleep for 14 hours.
Rinse, repeat. Rinse only if the water bill isn't past due.

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